Not all of this blog has to be about our Welsh experience. So, readers, I want to share some recent thoughts and things I’ve been reading.
Having finished my first year as an academic, I have had a lot of time to reflect about learning and teaching and US versus UK academics. As always there are things that I like about the system here and things I prefer about the US. Despite being in a brand new department, I’m finding that I don’t get to mold things as much as I thought I would. There are a lot of systems in place already such that I can’t really change things, and the opinions about what works and what doesn’t work from my colleagues and myself are all based upon what we have done in the past/have experienced. Therefore, it isn’t necessarily as fresh as it should be. So that gets me wondering: what is the ideal university experience?
I also wanted to share some of my favorite blogs that I visit with regularity:
Roger Ebert: not only does he have great insight on films and life in general, but he is also an extremely poetic writer AND a fellow UI alum! I respect him so much for what he has written and achieved in the world. If I were ever to meet him, I think I would dissolve into schoolgirlish giggles. He is my favorite and my hero.
In praise of sardines: a food blog that I have been following for a while. I have tried Brett’s recipes and been to his restaurant recommendations. This guy knows his food! He just opened a restaurant in SF, and even though it was promised to open before we left, it was delayed and we have never been to Contigo. However, we are about to head to Spain in July (Barcelona specifically), and I plan to visit several restaurants Chef Emerson recommends.
Barbara Ehrenreich: I read Nickel and Dimed as part of my beloved Studio 1 book club, first nonfiction book, I believe, and found Ehrenreich to be an incredible writer. She combines incisive commentary with good writing. Her blog always teaches me something new and gives me things to think about. I wish more people out there wrote like her.
The Sports Guy: This revelation may come as a shock to some, but I LOVE the Sports Guy even though I don’t love all sports (for the record, I like the Boston Red Sox, UI men’s basketball, and the Cubs when hottie Mark Prior was pitching for them). I think I stumbled upon him because we share a love of the Sox, but then found that he was awesome in general, so kept reading. He is hilarious, insightful, and logical. I love reading his mailbags and his commentary on the Sox. His post in dedication to his dog, The Dooze, made me close my office door and cry like a baby.
Omniglot: Cuz I, too, am a language nerd.
Our friends’ blogs, I visit with a lot of regularity, and you can find them on the blogroll on the right.
Not a blog, but PhD comics is sooooo right on with doctoral life, especially doctoral life at Stanford.
My favorite authors of all time? Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Oscar Wilde, Ernest Hemingway, Tennessee Williams. Why hasn’t everyone read all of their works???
Lastly, I have a question to pose to our readers: should Dan and I start a family? I know, I know, for everyone who knows me, you know that I have been rather outspoken about not birthing my own children. However, I am really keen on the idea of adopting kids, and it does seem a shame to miss out on the whole family thing; plus lately I’ve been wondering who is going to take care of us when we get old. My kind mom says that it would be a waste of good genes for us NOT to have kids (thanks for the confidence and frankly, a very big compliment, Ma!), but I still have reservations about 1) the environmental impact of bringing more people into the world, 2) is this world really a good one to raise kids in? after all, gay marriage is still not allowed in most parts of the world/our home in the US, 3) how does one raise kids to not become serial killers/rapists or at the very least, not resent me?, and 4) I’m not sure that I would necessarily be a good parent: after all, I lose my temper when Siena sheds on me, how am I supposed to deal with a spitting-up, poop-ful, drool-tastic baby? Plus, we have a lot of role models here of couples who have chosen not to have kids, and they seem to have a helluva good time! Whereas every time I see a mom pushing a stroller (pram) around, she looks like she has been wrecked by a construction ball (dads seem okay, although they are seen with the strollers less than moms). Readers, I would appreciate your opinion on this topic!
In response to your question: “should Dan and I start a family?”, my opinion is: YES! any kid would be lucky to have you two as parents.
miss you guys!
Oh man. The Dooze article by The Sports Guy…things got a little misty. lot of dust in my eyes or something I guess. And it is one of my dreams to get into a mailbag! that would be awesome!
And you would totally make a great parent! You guys should totally have a family if that’s what you decide you want.
Thanks for the vote of confidence! I’m not entirely convinced but I’m open to the arguments. Seriously, how do we reconcile the environmental argument? I can’t.
Environmental argument:
Option 1: you don’t have kids and save the world 1-2 more people. Other people will continue to have kids and instill in them consumerism and a general disregard for the environment. 80 years from now, their kids will have had 2 more generations of offspring also with a disregard for the Earth. They will vote accordingly. If everyone who valued the environment didn’t have kids, 80 years from now we will be in deep trouble.
Option 2: You have 1-2 children. You educate them about conservation, ecology, exponential population growth. They have a positive impact on society and convince their friends and neighbors to have 1-2 children instead of 5-6 children. They value education, science, civil rights for all, and vote in a progressive manner.
I am well versed in this debate since my brother’s girlfriend doesn’t want kids for similar reasons.
On a more personal note, I think y’all would be good parents. From a linguistic point of view, it is quite fascinating to observe their development. From a Physics/astronomy persepctive their is nothing cooler than listening to a 4 year old explain why it gets dark earlier in the winter. Yes, we all get frustrated, but overall it has been a very positive experience for both of us. BUT, we both take an equal share of the work, which means Mom may still get tenure… We agreed upon this pre-conception (actually pre-marital), and its the only way it would work for us.
As usual, meelwood, I applaud your logical thought and cool-as-a-cucumber arguments. Love it.
Meelwood, I still don’t get it. Let’s set aside the assumption of exponential growth (our future kids will have kids will have kids). How does making the argument that having 1-2 kids is better than having 0 kids when overpopulation is the number 1 environmental problem? Should I just mentor/teach other’s kids and have the same effect?
Craidd-
Yes, you can have the same effect by mentoring others’ kids if you can convince them that their family’s practices are wrong. However, if the most liberal portion of the population chooses not to have kids, while the most conservative portion of population chooses to have lots of kids (i.e. the Quiverfull movement), I suspect that the end effect will be a trend towards a more conservative population. So you have to “convert” someone else’s kid to have the same effect on the voting population as raising your own kid with your values.
If every couple had 0,1, or 2 children, there would not be exponential population growth (we would simply be replacing ourselves leading to a steady state).
There are some groups in the world that see having lots of children as a political act. Perhaps not having children is also a political act, but in the long run it may have the opposite affect.
meelwood, by that logic, then perhaps I should adopt a LOT of kids, maybe from a religious adoption agency. That way, I’m not only teaching environmentalism to my kids but “siphoning” them from the non-environmentalist population.
Yes, adopting several children is probably the most effective, but also the most difficult. I wonder if anyone has done a life cycle study of the resources required for adoption vs. procreation?
take it from me. whatever you guys decide to do make sure that your heart is in it. and as long as you do what you feel best then you will be fine. you can make a million arguements for and against but it all comes down to being happy. (i’m happy with all 8 and the extra wellfare).
Nadya, aren’t you forgetting you forgetting your first 6 kids?
First of all, I want to say that the people who have thought THIS much about having kids and have all your reservations about having kids are probably the people we want having kids.
And I think that you guys would make excellent parents, and your children, adopted or otherwise, would be lucky to have you as parents.
However, I don’t think I’m going to weigh in one way or the other. I have similar feelings about having children, and still haven’t come to any conclusions!
As a brand new grandmother, I just wanted to weigh in on the “start a family” discussion. I agree with your other responders that the two of you would make excellent parents, either through adoption or by having your own. The world definitely needs parents like the two of you. But that’s only the intellectual side of it! The most important part is whether your hearts are leading you to become parents. For people in my generation children were a given and they completed your family. The only real decision was the timing. It’s not easy being parents and yes there are many challenges facing families today. However, if we had never had children we would never have had a grandchild who is an absolutely amazing blessing. I hope your parents have that opportunity.